"This serving of pork products in the US is a deliberate provocation against all Muslims here in Pakistan," said local imam Wahid Aziz ur-Rahman. "The pig is a filthy beast that insults the very prophet himself. We reject any affront to Islam and demand those responsible be brought to justice."

Spokesclown Ronald McDonald's attempts to ameliorate their anger were met with a barrage of stones until he was engulfed by the mob, which beset him with their sticks and their bare hands.  His remains were then set ablaze and paraded around the city.

McDonalds offered the pork-based McRib sandwich for a limited time only at participating reataurants between October and November of 2005.  The popular sandwich was offered as a stand alone item as well as a combination meal with fries and a medium drink for one low price.  During the time the McRib was offered the franchise continued to serve all the regular menu items which are acceptable to consume under a Muslim diet.  The McRib sandwich was not offered for sale at restaurants located in predominantly Muslim countries.

Company officials were baffled by the timing of the protests.  "It seems odd to protest a sandwich offered for sale months ago today," said Mcdonalds' spokesman Walt Riker, "especially since we offer Canadian bacon, sausage, and bacon on our breakfast menu every day. It's a little like burning a Toyota dealership because the Japanese eat whale meat."

"Our most sincere sympathy goes out to the family of Ronald McDonald. We stand in awe of his courageous service. We are praying we see a safe return for Mayor McCheese and Grimmace, and they are alive and unharmed."